Self-sabotage

…. we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.

(Numbers 13:33, NKJV)

Eyes are a critical source of information helping us to navigate the spaces that we are in.  From the moment that we open our eyes to when we eventually close them to sleep, our eyes take in a lot of information which is sent to the brain and interpreted for different actions.  In split seconds, our eyes notice shapes, colours, movements, reactions etc., all being information which play on our brains in form of pictures.  With the details collected by our eyes, we understand situations, determine how to act, and even sense emotions. The eye is referred to as the lamp to the body and if it fails to see correctly, then the whole body, in this case the individual walks in darkness (Matthew 6:22-23).  We cannot overemphasize the power of sight but more importantly the interpretation that we get from what we see.  Beloved, there is also the spiritual sight which helps us to form images in our minds even when our physical eyes are closed.  These spiritual eyes influence how we interpret what the physical eyes have seen, if our spiritual eyes are bad then our spirits and our interpretation of the world around us will be darkened, just as Matthew above says.

Our reference verse refers to men who had been sent out by Moses to spy the land of Canaan.  They had the duty of getting information on the fruitfulness of the land as well as the strength of the people who lived in it.  Upon return, they reported that the land was fertile and indeed was flowing with milk and honey (Verse 27).  To this good news, Caleb was quick to call for the immediate moving into the land for the Lord God had given it to them (Verse 30).  The story changed immediately as ten of the twelve spies said that the people of the land were very strong suggesting there was no way the children of Israel could have won the fight (verse 31-32).  To strengthen their argument of inability to take up the land, the spies said that when they compared themselves to the inhabitants of the land, they saw themselves as grasshoppers and evidently, they believed that the inhabitants of the land had the same view of them - grasshoppers.  Brethren, here is the crux of the matter, how the spies saw themselves is not necessarily how they were seen by others, but they believed that they were like grasshoppers and therefore they had no chance of getting the land.  Thankfully, for the positive and encouraging confession by two of the twelve spies, we know that the children of Israel eventually took the land of Canaan as God promised.

This story tells us of a group of people who see the same thing but interpret it differently.  The different interpretation is what informs their actions and emotions.  The ten who felt small like grasshoppers did not have the strength to go into the land, while the two who raised a positive confession (Numbers 14:6-9) expressed confidence that God had given them the land.  As I reflected on this, I observed that the message of fear is usually faster in coming and has a strong emotional impact which weakens our resolve to move forward.  In my life there have been times I have known what I need to do but have I felt fearful of failure, at times feeling inadequate and not good enough for the outcome that would be expected.  This self-talk, weakens our hearts making us doubtful and finally if we do not get over the fear, we miss the opportunity of the blessing of God, all because we have talked ourselves out of it.  I look back to many instances only to realize that I was the enemy to my own progress as my interpretation of the situation was not true yet I lacked the strength to believe that it was possible.  Is this familiar to you? Beloved, how we see ourselves determines how we behave.  It does not matter how others see us or tell us is possible, what we believe about ourselves is what moves us.  No wonder it is said that our current situation is a result of the choices that we have made in life.  That could sound harsh, but it is worth some reflection.  God’s divine power has given us all what we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), we are fully equipped to actualize all the promises of God, the issue is what we believe and how we see ourselves.  When we compare ourselves with others like the spies compared themselves with the descendants of Anak, we struggle to match the game in our own eyes.  Others might see us well fitted for the task, but we do not take up the challenge because we see ourselves incapable.   Paul tells us that comparing ourselves with others is not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12), yet this is what usually takes away our strength and confidence. Brethren, it matters the mirror that we look at.  Some aesthetic mirrors set up in halls are meant to give desired effects, for example, make someone look taller or slimmer.  The reflection that the mirror gives could be deceptive and so is the same with our own minds.  The mirror we look at matters.  God’s word is truth which sanctifies us (John 17:17), a mirror that reflects to us His promises and provisions, it is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm 119:105).  Beloved, let us define ourselves and our capacities not by our own limited view but by the eternal word of God.  May we continually see ourselves as God sees us, His beloved children for that is exactly who we are. Amen.

Thoughts

How do you see yourself?

What comparisons are you making?

How would your life be different if you saw yourself the way God sees you?