Friends

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9, NKJV)

All living things:, animals, insects, people and others are paired up by nature, created male and female.  Nothing on earth lives all alone, many live in family group settings and so we speak of schools of fish, pride of lions, swarm of bees, colony of ants, a flock of birds etc.,  Human beings too chose to live in family groups whether nuclear or extended, standing and organizing themselves in households, tribes, communities, states, nations and other categorizations.  The need for companionship cannot be ignored and while some will live alone, few choosing a life of complete solitude, there is always a longing deep within to reach out to another of one’s kind, birds will move with birds, fish will swim with fish, lions will choose to hunt together and human beings will choose to pair up as spouses or friends.  Regardless of how one chooses to connect and  relate with another, the intention remains the same – companionship. 

The need to relate is not always satisfied by blood family members but could go beyond family, allowing us to make a conscious decision of our connection.  It is said that friends are our chosen family, and yes some friends take the place of families in some instances.  The bible reminds us that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).  This verse places a high premium on a friend who is not with someone as an obligation, but one who has a commitment to the other person. The verse starts off by letting us know that for one to have many friends, he must himself be friendly.  The onus is on the individual to make friends and when he proves himself faithful and committed, then he in turn earns a friend who takes the place of a brother.  Many would want to have such a friend and maybe the question is, are they committed friends themselves? It all starts with the individual, with you my friend.

Our reference verse reminds us that the results of two is greater than if one is alone.  The next verses explain the need for a friend as one who picks the other up if he falls down and also keep each other warm when it is cold.  While this is often explained from a spousal relationship, it also applies to the friendships we have.  Many friends are good and we should seek to have many but we need to remember that it is not the numbers of friends we have but the quality of friendships we have.  At times people spread themselves thin amongst many friends and in the end fail to cultivate solid friendships. As we have seen above, the quality of our friendship will depend on us being committed friends too.  Apostle Paul reminds us to be affectionate to each other with brotherly love, honoring and preferring the other person (Romans 12:10).  That is a measure of true friendship, preferring the other person when we have to make a choice.  That clearly means that friendship is not a place for selfishness, it is a place of giving.  There is the reference to an emotional bank which applies to friendships, meaning when our friends are in need and we stand for and serve them, we are depositing into our joint emotional bank so that when it is time for us to receive similar understanding and  compassion from our friends, then we will be withdrawing from the deposits we have made.  I like that analogy as it shows the two way traffic in a friendship and the need to continually make our deposits for we do not know when we shall need to make withdrawals from this account. The healthier our account is the stronger our friendship.

The bible gives us an idea of the friends that we should seek to have, individuals of good morals for our friends influence whom we end up becoming, we feed each other (1 Corinthians 15:33).  Our friends should spur us towards faith so that we remain on the path of righteousness (1 Thessalonians 5:11).  When we experience the warmth and joy of a friend then we can agree with the comparison of a sweet perfume (Proverbs 27:9).  Beloved, for the word of God to give us such snippets of the need for a friend, we cannot argue that we are okay all by ourselves and do not have need for other people.  Friends are an important part of our lives and it is said that our network reflects our net worth. That is a huge statement, maybe it is time with the help of the Holy Spirit, we took an inventory of how well we are doing in this area of our lives. 

Thoughts

Who are your friends?

Are you a friend?  Who can count you a dependable friend?

How can you make your friendship of greater impact?